Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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