I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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