I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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