Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
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I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
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I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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