So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
