Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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