Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
