How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
