Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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