tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
