Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
