Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
