I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i came on her dog
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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