Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
