Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
