i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
