fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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