Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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