i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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