I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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