life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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