Already got asked if we're dating
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
