dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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