Fine. I'll sleep in my office
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
