He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
