i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Panties = found
Randomize
