you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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