apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
