is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
