i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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