Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
