this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
