My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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