Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize