U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
