did you get engaged???
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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