I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Can vaginas get frostbite?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
