Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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