You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
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I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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