i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize