either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize