strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
