Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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