he laminated a picture of his dick.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
