can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
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remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
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So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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