If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
