Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm just crazy horny about you
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
