I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I would fuck him just for his dog
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
