She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
