literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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