I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
