i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
