this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
