im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
