i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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