I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
