I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
