i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
