So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize