i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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