literally had 100 drinks last night.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
