So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
