R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
