Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i wish my penis had a tongue
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
