yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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