they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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