I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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